Friday, June 09, 2006

sanTana Solicitors Are Metichis ... They Won't Die ... (listening to U2)

Recently … pues miercoles ... there another was soft tortilla life knock on my firme front puerta … I was on the itty bitty telefono and walked to the firme puerta … I lost phone reception on the short walk over so I had to put up with the pinche knocker … it was some sanTana vato … with two firme sanTana hinas … almost a blind date … they were sanTana realtors …

I don’t always answer the knocks on mi firme puerta … BUTT I did this time because my firme front puerta was cracked open … just enough to let in fresh aire and perfect for a mocoso solicitor to put his boca in MY CRACK and yell “Sr. So Y So” … “Sr. So Y So” … a veces, they gritan “So Y So,” in my crack … simon … “So Y So” … simon … I don’t know how … but every pinche sanTana solicitor has mi nombre on their clip board … and they knock on mi firme puerta and call me to the firme puerta as if they’re familia … and their voice is compa friendly … has that ol’ sanTana homie tune …

ANDD … this latest tortilla life knock had that ol sanTana homie tune … tambien ... and it was a pinche RAZA realtor … simon … with two fine hinas … they weren’t here to talk to my ass … not about la pinche refinance or vende su chante and shattt … chale … it looked as they had campaigned big time … 10 barrios en 10 dias … they looked a bit pinche beat … en jeans … t-shirts … poco tirados … and they just wanted to hand me a TARBELL REALTOR flyer … not advertising casitas butt COPA MUNDIAL DE FUTBOL – FIFA … a WORLD CUP SOCCER SCHEDULE … that’s firme … it was just a pinche cheap 8x10 white paper … with a delgado rubber band stapled on the top left corner … all fucking crooked ... I mean talk about low cost, efficient, entertaining, the personal touch, sexy women y deportes and about quick sound bites – a WORLD CUP schedule …

And they just handed it to me … “Quien va ganar?” … he asked … that’s all it took … they told me about Mexico’s Argentinian coach and players and this and fucking that … butt at the bottom of this firme flyer were two photos … one of that vato who knocked and another of one of those fine hinas … she looks mas vieja in el pic … and he looks cleaner on film …

Tambien … lunes … there was another famoso tortilla life knock … and a big voca in my opened puerta crack … butt it was some … pues not to be mean and shit … but it was a puebla looking Latina … short … round … a nice permanent tan … black long hair … and a SOL camisa …”So Y So” … grito politely through mi firme puerta … “So Y So” … I opened the door and greeted the pretty lady with a “SIMON” … “QUE PASA” … she was knocking for JOSE SOLORIO … “CAN JOSE COUNT ON YOUR VOTE” … she said en espanol … “Why Solorio” … I asked … she smiled and stood there looking like my favorite cosita en el mundo … RAZA with straight bleached dientes … “QUE SUAVE DIENTES” … I told her … she got embarrassed … the vata knew that I knew that they were bleached … she thanked me for voting for SOLORIO … I asked her what she felt the overall attitude about SOLORIO was en mi barrio … and she said more gente needed to be registered … butt the registered folk … pues … they had good things to say about SOLORIO … they liked that he was a WAB … simon … the WABS en mi barrio could relate with this HARVARD WAB who was running for assembly …

Tambien … they liked his dictionary … she said what my vecino said … people actually had his dictionary on top of their refrigerators … tv’s … ETC … they didn’t throw it away …

Pues … simon … Jose Solorio printed and distributed to barrio sanTana households a pocket-sized dictionary … entitled Learn English: English – Spanish Dictionary … “Helping every Californian learn English …” Jose Solorio, Democrat for Assembly.

Pues … a firme pagina in this libro is “P” … I would provide a pagina number, but none exist in this libro … under “P” there is the following palabras: package, paid, pain, painkiller, painter, pair, paper, paragraph, park, parking, part, party, passport, past, patient, pay, paycheck, pedestrian, pen, penicillin, people, person, phone, photo, pick, pile, place, plastic, plate, play, point, police, politician, poor, possession, poverty, power, practical, practice, pray, president, pretend, principal, printer, prison, private, professor, profit, prosecutor, protect, prove, pull, push, put …

Ondale … reading these palabras … I see lots of cosas … trips to 7-11 on Standard and Mc Fadden … to Tijuana … to downtown sanTana … tamales … stand-by workers at Home Depot … pendejos who don’t pay these workers … Mexican man in a suit … that pueblo hina knocking on my firme puerta … a coconut … 4th street … Logan Park … Delhi Park … Bristle St. indoor swapmeet … guayaberas …

Tambien this vato wrote and distributed his autobiography … “Lessons I’ve Learned” … “who wrote it” … someone asked me … pinche intellectuals … I read it in AZ a few days ago … while visiting my other parent … he’s dying of lung cancer … due to social smoking plus 2nd hand smoke ... BUTT I skimmed SOLORIO rapido while by an AZ pool … with an AZ margarita … then I began reading “Clemente” by David Maraniss … anyways … Solorio writes about his experience as a field worker … all the way to outlawing pocket bikes … tax breaks for the rich … and suing W for the “No Child Left Behind” bullshit … and more … pues you can call his utopia safe and reader friendly … but BORING … Maraniss isn’t boring … he understands why gente engage en … sex, drugs y cumbias …

Ondale … BUTT in all this … I trip out on how all these sanTana solicitors, campaigners … and canvassers … ET AL all know mi nombre and probably yours … and how it sits on that pinche clip board … and how they feel comfortable … knock on mi firme puerta … stick their boca in my cracked door and call me by first name or by “Sr. So Y So” … I trip out … one even said she would have dropped by “ayer” but she knew I would he home …OOOPPPSSS … that’s freaky … BUT NOT BORINGGGGG …

2 Comments:

At 3:08 PM, Anonymous malinche said...

You know, something about Solario's propoganda creeped me out. The "learn English" manual left a bad feeling in my estomago, and the bio was like trying to establish his street-cred (what a friend calls trying to win the "oppression olympics"). I dug the badges I got from the UFW and all, but in the end, I voted for my fellow CAL alum...alas, he lost...pa' la otra.

 
At 3:02 PM, Blogger Barrio Marlon Brando said...

the 69th race was in fact voting for the worse of boridos ... I didn't even cover the race or races porque ... pues ... what for ...

 

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