Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Como Tequila Sunrise ... (listening to It's Not Unusual)

Ondale … last week I rec’d mas UNIQUE sanTana JUNKMAIL … simon … an 8 ½ x 11 sucking incher was cramped rudely into my pinche tight, clean and innocent mail cajita … it had a cross … un angel … and said “Su Calendario Gratis de 2006” … este fue mi pinche millionth calendario de sanTana negocios … uno por el frig … otro por da desk … otro for the garage … ETCETERA … y ahora this one to count the time down …

Simon … this calendario was de FAMILY MORTUARY … aka … FUNERARIA FAMILIAR … hayyy chingow … this calendario fue mas mejor que ese real estate homie’s whose part of the AMERIQUIST home financing scam … but nada compared to the marketa who pounds out calendarios with pics of oysters surrounded by cerveza … the Virgin Vary … and Aztecas … and WHORE RED carnations … anyways … the mortuary cosa is too cool to put away …

What’s freaky is there is a tab to complete and mail back to the pinche mortuary … simon … “me interesa saber mas sobre … servicios funerales … traslados a mi pais … cremacion … benefecios del seguro social …” … chingow … all that’s missing a pinche recipe for chili verde … don’t know why BUTT I associate the aroma of steamy PORK with DEATH … here's why ... years ago, there was a young couple who bought a large turn of the century casita aqui en sanTana ... on Orange and Beverly which becomes Wisteria ... one day, the house caught fire and burned ... they burned ... she worked with my mom and had made chili verde just days before the tragedy ... my mom brought me a plate ... days later my friend and I rode our bikes by the house ... it smelled ...

BUTT since that calendar arrived … I’ve had a trippy dream … dos noches in a pinche row … I’m at a handsome friends casita … and he has a HYOOSH (huge, ese) back yard … an olympic pool … ivy everywhere … HYOOSH white columns … a clear bright blue sky … and a BAR … a well stocked bar … and we’re pounding away … hablamos … and we begin walking down this beautiful sidewalk … if there’s such a thing … and we’re walking through the HYOOSH columns covered with beautiful healthy ivy … entonces … we pass a 1940 algo FORD FLEETLINE … it’s gold with a black hard top with a picture of LA VIRGEN DE GUADALUPE on the trunk … it’s total LOWRIDER MAGAZINE material and shatt …. this is to my right … then … we walk another 5 yards and there’s an ivory white piano … on top of it sits another FLEETLINE … this one is various colors … yellow ... green ... blues ... but mainly silver metallic … black hard top and a mural of the VIRGIN MARY on the front passenger door … totally decked out … we continue to walk … and I continue drinking gin and tonic … I’m sure I was licking my pinche lips in bed cuz the drinks were firme and unlike anyone I’ve ever had … I can still taste them …

This whole time my handsome HOMIE had on a Greek like gown … his hair had grown … and he was wearing sandals and had a 6 foot cane … I was drinking with JESUS … or the vato just fell off the wagon … anyways … I pushed myself into this dream … discreetly feeling and touching TODO … pushing my limits in da sleep … opening puertas … pulling ivy … pinching my homie’s naris … I also let my drink slip and the glass cracked everywhere … both of our feet got wet and turned bloody as we walked on the glass … I poured the gin on the floor which quickly spread to burn our pinche feet … “Gracias … I was about to do that…” … he said … “We're dreaming … so tell me … what’s up” I said …

We stopped at another yard bar … must have been the 5th or 6th one … he then ordered a drink that was peach colored on top … clear in the middle … and bled red something down to the bottom of his glass … he drank it and gave a hard whiskey cara … he gave the vaso back to the bartender for another … “It’s my great grandmother’s juices …” he said … “Carlos Castaneda dreams of his mother’s juices … but I only know my great grandmother’s …” he said … “What’s with the gin and tonic” … he wanted to know … “It’s your sister’s juices … she enjoys the splashes … “ … I said …

He wanted to know about me and love with his hermana … I said … “Beauty can really suck … she let’s me hold a gun to her head as we love like pretenders … she’ll do anything for me … you know that … even if it involved your ass …”

He chuckled and the bartender poured more bleeding something …

“What do you dig about her … ” he asked

“I stepped on her floor heater once … she rubbed ice on my foot … I rubbed ice on her boobs … she held me at gunpoint and demanded I roll my cock on that heater … she then filled her mouth with crushed ice … she likes to slam once or twice cada ano … on windy days, she likes cock kites … she’s a pinche slice of Yale … she looks like you … she makes me your drink … but with a bruised bottom …” I said …

Then wind woke me ... I poured another gin y tonic for 3am ...

39 Comments:

At 2:51 PM, Anonymous I dream 2 said...

Trippy, but Lou Correa should not run for the 34th. He needs to stay locally and dig Demo roots. Que no Cholo!!!

 
At 2:53 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who is Irvine hiring for it's municipal hitman, I mean project manager? Whose in the pinche hopper?

 
At 2:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Correa won't run. He has no support to move on. Labor wants him to sit still --- good boy!!!!!

 
At 2:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's up with Correa? As State Sen? Para que? He's just tripping!

 
At 2:56 PM, Anonymous Puta Fea said...

Hey Cholo, what's up with Mary Bloom? Does she squeal o que?

 
At 2:58 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Irvine's Community Liasion? What's going on there? Hmmm, what's up with that Cholo?

 
At 3:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Correa needs to stay as a Board member. He needs to build strong Democratic seeds en OC and paint it blue over red.

 
At 3:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cholo is a sicko but I LUV IT!! Don't support Lou for the 34th!!

 
At 3:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What would Lou run on? He needs to get his health policy passed then move onto building the blue party here. Shame on you Lou!!

 
At 3:07 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Irvine sucks, look who they chose for the great park project. Bring in the casinos and let the revenues flow, mensos!!

 
At 3:09 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Shame on Santana for givig Honda a ball job worth millions!!! It'll bite Pulido in the ass. But it won't matter, he's tired of it!!

 
At 3:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

2:56, they all suck. They do nada for this side of town. All they do is hold placa meetings. Chale con ellos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
At 3:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Mary Bloom sucks!!!! Get her out!!!

 
At 3:13 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's a sappy pic of Lou in today's Register. He's slouching like a mocoso!! Don't support Lou for the 34th!!! He's better of with the Sups, for now!!!!

 
At 3:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cholo, what's up with La Brenda? You posted a pic of her a while back then took it down. She's damn hot!! More on her and those wild dreams!!!! Lou for the 34th!!

 
At 3:17 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

OK Creeps, back to work. Cholo is full of shit!! He's all left and all for public transportation!! He's still a LA labor/transportation/Villaragosa boy and don't forget that!! Quit screwing OC Cholo, you asshole!!

 
At 3:19 PM, Anonymous Lefties Suck said...

Your left wing propaganda crap is nonsense. Leave fed funding where it falls and stay out of politics. Recall Tony V, Ahora!!!

 
At 3:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lou is a sap but he's sooo nice. He's not ready for the 34th, yet, he still has work to do aqui. Sit, sap, sit!!

 
At 3:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Irvine does suck. The new planning co they chose will continue to fuck up that project. Throw mota seeds on it all and let it grow!!!!! FU Irvine!!

 
At 3:25 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Cholo, Brenda's caliente!! What is she, 30ish? Post that pic otra vez and let's do Memphis again, cabrone!!!

 
At 3:27 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brenda's a regular hole at La Cave and so is that asshole, Cholo. Screw him and his left bullshit propaganda!! Fuck you and get the hell out of town NOW!!!

 
At 3:31 PM, Anonymous Cholo Sucks said...

Was that you pumping that chick Brenda on the table at La Cave. Fuck her and fuck you, communist bastards!! Your left-wing BS does no good. Don't believe his tales!!

 
At 3:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cholo, is it true you were kicked out of a special district? Too radical or just too stupid? Pinche tapado!!!!

 
At 3:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cholo, need dimentia pills? Ha, ha!!! Take your meds little boy then get the fuck out of town!!!

 
At 3:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Isn't your boss dead?

 
At 3:40 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Brenda is HOTTTT!!!! Good pic on her!! Pasala!! Later Dude!

 
At 3:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

DEMENTIA PILLS??? You're an ass and I hope all of you choke on those old people pills!!!!!!!!!! Ha, ha, ha, ha!!!!!!!!!!

 
At 3:50 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I saw that mortuary mailer. What a waste of money and freaky. Cool stuff, it's those public admin-assholoe que pela!! Later Cholo!!! Let's hook up again!!!

 
At 3:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cholo, give me and Brenda a call. We're craving Cubano!!

 
At 3:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sock it to them, they suck!!!

 
At 3:56 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What's going on with SanTana's "new" planning and zoning commish???? Anything good??? Call me Cholo!!!!

 
At 4:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It was good meeting you. Let's do lunch next time.

 
At 4:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey, Brenda's hot! Hey, ESPN a las seis!!

 
At 4:10 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is it true you slept with all the women of transportation, married or not??? You are a FUCKER, aren't you??? I want you, I want you!!!!

 
At 4:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

3:47, what happened? So you couldn't hook up!!! Too bad, PUTA!!! Get a life and quit being a kiss ass in the 69th!!!!!

 
At 4:19 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

3:47, 4:10, who designed your implants? OCTA planners? The lines and curves look like a Metrolink disaster!!!

 
At 4:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did you have a tamale before going to bed? During the holidays como unas tamales b4 gg to bed & i had the trippest dreams.

 
At 4:42 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cholo, debes casar. Ya es tiempo!!

 
At 4:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

4:23, try two tamales before bed. You might be ready for a couple new ones!!

 

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