Friday, November 04, 2005

Tonto y Cubicled ... (listening to The Band)

Hey homies ... with the holidays aqui, I thought I'd share some politico SHOPFLOOR holiday cuentas ... ondale ... in the public sector it's all about bumping ... it's always about interpreting union MOU's and jefe's watching their lenguas and bumping the other team or dept ... in the private world it's cutting .. it's always about killing your competitor ... but either way, check out this holiday cuenta from Big Daddy ... it's about all the corny holiday gente we all put up with on da SHOPFLOOR ...

Hey Big Daddy,

With Halloween only days away and Christmas and Hanukkah around the corner, I'm in the uncomfortable position, as office manager, of determining whether or not employees will be allowed to hang holiday decorations in their cubicles this year. Last Christmas, our human resources division received a complaint from an employee who does not celebrate Christmas and was offended by a miniature Christmas tree that one of her colleagues put in her cubicle.

Choosing the path of least resistance, HR asked her to remove the tree and all other decorations were subsequently removed. Not surprisingly, it was bad for morale and I felt like the Grinch. The employee who filed the complaint no longer works here, and we've yet to decide what to do this year. But employees are already asking if they can have a Christmas party in December and what the rules will be. It seems like harmless fun to me, but it's not worth a lawsuit. What do you suggest?

-Nervous in North San Juan

Hey Nervous,

Some of the most dangerous people in society are those whose depth of knowledge about constitutional law and the rights of man were gleaned from reruns of People's Court and Judge Judy. Their moral indignation against fake fir trees with ornaments runs about as deep as the Marianas Trench.

They live their lives under a black cloud of their own making, lost in the delusion that "the man" is out to get them, society doesn't accept them, and they would be Donald Trump's peer today if not for the fact that some gender-biased, religious zealot hadn't held them back from reaching their true potential years ago. Some are dyed-in-the-wool Republicans who complain about job-killing Democratic lefties who weep for welfare recipients and oppose President Bush. Some are true-blue Democrats who blame Republican big-business for everything from tooth decay to traffic jams.

You know who I'm talking about. The woman who takes her rightful 10-minute break every hour so she can smoke a cigarette and read another chapter in her dime-store novel. Ask her why she hasn't been promoted and she'll tell you her boss is sexist. Her hair is flat from that glass ceiling she keeps bumping up against.

Or the man complains to HR that his boss is racist for promoting someone of a different ethnicity instead of him. He'll argue at the water cooler that Columbus Day shouldn't be on the calendar but sneaks out of work a little early on St. Patrick's Day or Cinco de Mayo. Then, there's the transgender male who is shunned by his female co-workers because he insists on using the ladies room (and leaving the seat up when he's done).

A few years back, a state agency in Sacramento took political correctness to such absurd lengths that the words "female" and "lady" were added to a list-along with the words "broad" and "babe"-of offensive references toward women. So according to the politically correct police, Jerry Lewis is officially as offensive as Andrew Dice Clay.

I understand your workplace dilemma, but it is largely one of your own making. Not because you allowed the snowflakes cut from coffee filters to be hung on your office windows but because you let a holiday naysayer get the best of you.

Some of us are, or have been, lucky enough to have jobs we love in professions that seem more like a hobby. But for a lot of people, a job is work. They spend too much time commuting to and from the office. Too much time away from their families. Too much time trying meet impossible deadlines for distant corporate bosses who think creativity and efficiency are mutually exclusive.

Your office holiday party this season should be a reflection of your office as a whole-not of the one guy who's mad at the world and wants you to be mad too. Be sensitive to others concerns, but don't cave to the holiday humbugs. Besides, everyone-regardless of religious, ethnic or gender barriers-eats the Christmas cookies in the break room. So maybe that should be the new office standard. Don't want to celebrate Chanukah? Then don't eat the rugulah.

Hay mas consejos from this dude aqui ...


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