Tuesday, September 20, 2005

SanTana's Bist Live (listening to Sam Cooke)

The other night, Councilwoman Lisa Bist closed sanTana's pinche televised council meeting by introducing the new, hip, yet contemporary marketing slogan for the city's new market night cosa ... the slogan was original ... thoughtful ... to the point ... contained no fat ... it was close to "just do it" or "got milk" but with manners ... Bist mentioned the low attendance at the "permit-lite" farmer's market then the bite followed ... some nights are good but others are empty so "please go"... huh ... did she just say "please go" ... is she really asking us .... QLC (que la chingada) ... what's up with that ...

I thought it sounded odd ... "please go" ... please be my friend, godfather ... what a pinche wimp ... que chavala ... hey chavala naked ... etc, etc, etc ... in the barrio, when requesting algo, we don't want to sound like chavalas so we prefer to use action phrases like "you better" or "or else" or just plain o' "shiiiit" before or right after our request ... but what's up con "please" in a ciudad that is almost all raza ... why not "por favor" ... who was the "please" directed at ... the Spanish speaking trabajadores who never got beyond 2nd grade ... or maybe the illiterate ice-cream man whose only skills are to drive/open a box/give change/install on his truck a "Play in my van" license plate frame ... hey, it's true, couldn't believe the perv, need to phone Bryan's Ice-Cream ... or was it directed at Sra. Recycle who lurks our basura every Friday ...

Nah, chale ... if she wanted these folks to crash the party, Bist would have said "por favor vengase a market night y trae tu familias" ... she knows how raza is ... or "market night, cada Wednesday, venga todos"... or she could have handed the mic to el slick Mayor Pulido who would have probably said "thaaaank ya Councilwoman Biiist ... she wants all of you to attend market night ... let me translate ... la Councilwoman Bist y yo invitamos a todos a Market Night cada miercoles" ... or she could have handed the mic to Councilman Carlos Bustamante who might have said ... "there was no market night when I was a student at Mater Dei" ... we know, we know ... "but I go because I'm a renaissance man, my wife says so ... I encourage all of you to go ... I work for the CAO's office and work long hours" ... zzzzzzzzz ....

Bist might have then said, "any other closing remarks on market night" and Councilwoman Claudia Alvarez might have said "yes and thank you Councilwoman Bist ... the City has worked" ... gente, at this point I wouldn't know what Alvarez might be saying cuz I'd be eating chicharones besides I'd wondering if she has bumpy areolae ... "so we encourage you to attend market night .... por mucho tiempo la ciudad de sanTana".... sorry gente, I would need a beer with my chicharones and her areolae ... I've just been doing the chicharone/beer/council meeting thing since I gave up Taco Bell ... "aver, cuantos gente aqui saben de market night, levantese los manos por favor ... gracias, como saben de market night" ... sorry, I'd probably be surfing the Food Channel ... checking out Bobby Flay's new pinkie ring complex .... he should stick to cooking ... he makes a killer mango sauce for chicken ... "y market night es importante so te envito todos a market night" ....

Then Council Women Albert Christy would chime in "I agree with all my colleagues" ... sorry gente, I'd be thinking inside my cabeza again ... how many Afro-Americans are really in sanTana ... I remember the Gibsons, Mills - his dad was my football coach, Teddy Baker, whatever happened to Mike Jones and Teresa Rogers, they were a pinche hot couple ... "market night is a wonderful Santa Ana tradition ... it's been on ... how long has it been on ... a couple months ... but it's important that we support this event, so bring the kids and I'll se ya there"

Councilmen Jose Solorio would have been handed the mic ... "Thank you" ... I'd be thinking again, what does he do at OCTA ... is he a PR folk ... does he work on Rideshare .... I don't think he's a programming/planning homie ... is his hair the best thing at OCTA since the name change from OCTD ... what will it take for the living wage movement to hit sanTana ... "thank you Councilwoman Bist" ....

Then Mike Garcia would have continued to balance his pencil on his fingers on the air and got on ..."yes and thank you" ... don't know why, but he looks like Chevy Chase behind that desk ... maybe the forehead... what's with the pencil ese, he should throw the lapiz at the camera then fall over como SNL ... he has a twin ... are they shining as he speaks ... why does he keep looking to the left side of the audience ... maybe a hottie in the seats ... "thank you" ....

But even if I didn't listen entirely ese, I doubt most gente on my block go because WE DON'T KNOW ABOUT IT ... it's in the papeles but I think the daily paper vato makes maybee 5 drops aqui en mi calle ... gente don't read the papel aqui ... it's all word of mouth y they don't watch sanTana council live! ... chale ... besides, they figure it's market night cada dia with their amigitos ... los pinche vendors ....

Later homies, the illiterate perv's coming and he sells a six pack of mixed sodas for $2 ....

21 Comments:

At 10:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You have got them all down

 
At 10:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bisty's a nice person, leave her alone. I don't know about the others.

 
At 10:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Market night is lacking traffic. I was at that council meeting and was surprised to hear Bist plea for attendance. Que mujer!

 
At 10:24 AM, Anonymous Vendors of SanTana Unite! said...

SanTana is f*ucked for whacking vendors with that $3,000 fee whether payments are extended over 1 year or 6. Then having to relocate every 90 minutes. This is horrible policy. Staff could not answer basic questions convincingly about their methods in developing this crappy policy and about implementing this thing. Trash it!

 
At 10:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

SanTana picks on the little people like vendors. Code enforcement or was it planning, who cares, there are no answers for the ridiculous $3,000 vendor fee and that lotto is a joke. Local policy at its worse.

 
At 10:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Did anyone attend Alvarez's special meeting with vendors?

 
At 10:28 AM, Anonymous John Belushi for Council said...

Hey Cholo, you are right about Gacia and Chase - total twins. You nailed these characters.

 
At 10:32 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who are the Grain Project people? Are they marketing barrios or are they too busy chatting with wine vendors? This project should be in the streets with the people not just at the register cashing in. Go Grain Project, go visit the gente!!!

 
At 10:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I live a couple blocks from the event and haven't seen nada de literature on it or the Grain people. They just want money.

 
At 10:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Any word on the Centro? Do they remain homeless? Maybe they can be permit-lite too or is that too much for council to stomach?

 
At 10:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

El Centro was screwed. It's SAPD driving them out and council just can't say no to the cops. Parking spaces my culo.

 
At 10:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Who ar you people? Names or shut the fuck up!

 
At 10:40 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anyone crashing the Great Rally Park barrio meetings? Oh, I forgot, there aren't any barrio meetings because the park won't impact us. Sorry.

 
At 10:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

SanTana city staff was totally unprepared and looked lame at that meeting. Solorio asked basic implementation questions like when will the process take affect and staff could not answer that. Shame! Staff should have been prepared but they obviously don't care!

 
At 10:47 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

10:45, you're right! I can't believe that staff and "consultants" only made 2 stops to collect data on vendors! 2 stops! Mensos. It was a joke! And for staff to say this $3,000 vendor fee rip off was "cutting edge." What a joke!

 
At 1:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is so funny. It reminds me of the SNL skit where ABC reports Buckwheat has been shot - funny as hell.

 
At 4:16 PM, Blogger Barrio Marlon Brando said...

Pues gracias for the (areolae) fotos ... pinche mujeres ... you're all locitas ... I knew this blog was a good idea ... and here I thought sanTana was going a viejo ... about those chingada de whips ...

 
At 8:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Pues, donde esta los fotos Sr Brandon??

 
At 11:23 AM, Blogger Barrio Marlon Brando said...

sorry 803, the fotos are for me ... besides, the real thing is out there, NOT online ...

 
At 11:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Alvarez does not have bumpy areolae. I've seen her on cold days, her cosas are quarter size. Hope this cures your dirty mind!

 
At 11:34 AM, Blogger Barrio Marlon Brando said...

1133, I'll trade you pics...

 

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