Saturday, September 24, 2005

Close the pinche garage door (listening to Average White Band)

Hey eses, I don't know about you but mi cool vecino tiene un tortilla garage ... simon, the vato y su bonita esposa are real good gente but his pinche garage is off limits to humans ... simon, no one can enter because esta lleno de jonke ... I don't know what the vato keeps in there but it's pinche scary and is a matchbox ready to fregar ... ese vecino, asi te limpias tu cola? ... no te crees ese ... and to make pinche matters mas fea, every pinche sabado, the vato leaves his bright shiny white colonial garage puertita wide open ... que pretty ese ... so when I take my AM walk, chingow that's the first thing I see ... pinche vecino ...

But this AM, I pulled up a seat and drank my cafe and was there as the vato opened this pinche pandora's cajita ... what the hell is in there anyway ... pues who cares but what's trippy es que cada tres meses this macho vato has his teenage kids have a garage cleaning fiesta ... for one whole pinche weekend, these ninos take everything out, sweep, repack, have a carne asada, talk about old times, then they put everthing back - NEATLY ... que la chingada ... it's cool and all but I don't get it eses ... hey, I don't mean to sound chocante but you know who I'm talking about ...

What I don't get is that a couple years ago, the wonderul gente de sanTana code enforcement cruised my barrio and tagged cada casita por algo ... simon, this is what they do when they're not fantasizing about being a pinche cop ... they said paint aqui, replace this, trim este, this won't pass code, pull this, scratch aqui, etc, etc, etc, ... and they said hagalo in unos pinche 30 days and maybe we won't fine you ... hey, I had to trim some of my plantitas which looked mas firme natural ... simon eses, I like it natural ... and everyone aqui complied como pinche Popeye ... what surprised me was that the vecino's tortilla garage was not pinned by city folk ... chale ... and it was opened when they came cruising ... maybe it was that beautiful esposa ...

Pues, he was lucky and we had a beer over that ... but aqui en sanTana, 99.99% of garages son lleno de cochinada o de gente ... simon, como mi vecino de otro lado, his garage is un cuartito suave ... most are ... so that pretty much means I live in a garageless barrio ... but you would never guess if you're the type of mocoso who judges us gente by the writing on realtor flyers ... simon, they all claim every house has a two car garage for $700,000 ...

But what tortilla garages tell me is that maybe gente are alienated from the fact that their sitting on algo that's over 1/2 million ... people say sanTana folk don't care about their casitas, thus tortilla garages ... hey eses, don't ever let anyone tell you that we just don't care ... nah, chale ... folk, nosotros de sanTana care to the max ... but to think 20 years ago home owners en barrio sanTana x 13 y-que were broke and barely making it y hoy, all of a pinche sutten, a $500,000 plus golden huevo is tickling culos como loco ... pues while that huevo may feel good to some, more so, it's shocking news and a bit surreal todavia ...

Ondale gente ... eses I'll catch you at Moreno's ... y ese vecino, this mimosa es para ud you lucky bastard .... orale ....

9 Comments:

At 11:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a vecino like that. Que haces?

 
At 11:53 AM, Anonymous Be my neighbor! said...

Hey Cholo, my neighbor's house is for sale and has no tortilla garage. Need the address?

 
At 11:57 AM, Anonymous THEY DON'T CARE!! said...

No, they're not alienated ... THEY JUST DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!!

 
At 12:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is up with realtors hawking SanTana? I get a knock every weekend from some realtor begging me to sell. One promised me I could have $800,000 in my hands in a month.

 
At 12:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

That's cold Cholo, ragging on your vecino AND checking out his wife. Eres cabrone!

 
At 12:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

12:01, I hear you, realtors scout the area like vultures and do prey on the less agressive homeowners especially the elder. What's real sad is when they convince the elder gringos to get out of the barrio. You know all the money goes to the vulture ninos.

 
At 12:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

A mimosa, that sounds good!

 
At 12:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

A fine vecina sounds better!!!

 
At 12:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Long live Chris and George Diaz!!!

 

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