Tuesday, August 02, 2005

ESL (listening to Ry Cooder)

(Originally appeard in OC Craigslist, 8/02/05)

Q-vo gente, hey, last miercoles me and my good amiga finally hooked up. For quite a while she was after me to help her escribir un pinche cosa y pistar, simon, we go way back. On wednesday me llamo and 2 hours later we found ourselves at the Rusty Pelican in pinche Nuevo Puerto, simon, seaside sillas tomando gins and brandies. Simon, we arrived about 3pm, just in time to check out the boracho realtors chupando their telefonos and drunken MD wives who "like latin men." Simon, we were cracking up even had the chocante bartender and waitress busting up ... as we sat pistando, we watched as this ocean vato named his yacht, simon, "Crown of the Sea" was plasterd onto this firme yacth ... I thought the name was poco square, faltava sal, but this vata thought it was "appropriate" ... whaaaat? ....appropriate? oakie doakie vata and the pinche burro you're dating ...

Chale, hey homies, everyone will recognize my boat because I decided I am going to name my boat after "Mrs. Appropriate." Simon, she was my neighbor when growing up,nomas hablo espanol and her ama made killer empanadas ... for years the rumor was que fueron eme ... simon, her apa ya esta muerto - god bless his soul, but the story goes que this union pachuco was todo macho, simon, his union gente would have pisto y jugaron cartas hablando todo pachucos of their dias en TX y AZ as they parked their Fleetlines, Bel-Airs, Ferraris and Porsches aqui en el calle ... she was an ESL estudiante and couldn't say chet por nada, now she's abogada, drives an audi, smokes imported cigaros, burns me como loca and finds parts of OC tortilla life "appropriate."

So here's to you vecino, my pinche boat, "Esa Shuntara Loca de sanTana." Believe me, she deserves it because even to this day, her familia and too many others gets the special attention and treatment by locales. But they know she's a pinche civilian, just like that chocante bartender and waitress except she's muy fifi porque she likes to torture you with her lauren bacall ojos, flash her fine tan piernas and her bouncy boobs, and blow smoke in your face como el toro ....

Ondale homies, if you see her cuidado ... if she gets away, pues you've missed a good thing.

Later and remember the (Recycled) Cholo Knows ...


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