Wednesday, August 31, 2005

$4.33 Blowjob (listening to Hendrix)

Homies, it's another pinche semana de la raza .... Chulo (Villaraigosa) pounds Sac but will not run for gov in '06, LA City abogado Rocky Delgadillo for Califas Atty Gen, Latino Caucus "secret" is out of the pinche closet and sanTana raza remains pinche pobre pero sigue con sus "upstairs" add ons ....

Simon, even with all this excitement, my vecina sticks to her routine .... simon, she washes temprano cada dia, she and her old man are cool.... simon, their ninos split the nest on their knees a few years ago and she is beating cancer ... pero cada dia esta gritando y limpiando ... simon, es un casa de gritones .... and her old man is todo Jack Nicholson class act, simon, a retired plasterer who went from an LTD to a SUV in a pinche decade ... simon, they add to sanTana's uniqueness ... simon, they're the only raza casa con 2 gente ....

But that's not story the Orange Caca Register or the US Census feeds nosotros ... chale, they have us believing that Sr. Feelgood is our only papa and that advancing means cooking menudo in Wolfgang Puck sartenes ... chale ... not here ese, not here ....

Simon, the pinche US Census continues to give sanTana bad head while we just kick back, listen and hold the pinche remote comiendo chicharones ... simon, these vatos con sus hard up stats software report que sanTana has unos 4.33 gente en cada casa .... 4.33 per house? ... in what pinche universe eses and don't stop chupandoing ... come on eses, give us a pinche break .... maybe that's just another pinche typo ... simon, it's really 33.4 por casa plus or minus a vecino aqui y por alli ... simon, I know each casa on this pinche calle and the only 4.33 that may be true is number of cuartitos raza is adding to their chantes ... simon, se creen mucho con su equity so their going upstairs eses .... hay tu ... stairs en mi casa ... 4.33 might even be close to the number of caruchas por casa ... simon ... my other vecino is un chante de 7 con jardin firme y 5 turtle waxed caruchas, and get this, only two pinche drivers.... hey Census braceros, here's a pinche assumption for your pinche methods, sanTana's raza por casa and any number less than 7 don't belong in the same pinche sentence ....

Pues I don't want to get into the Census method movidas, chale, that's another cerveza y post... chale, besides my stats son de ojo ... simon, me and my vaso just check things out ... simon ....

The Census tambien dice que Barrio OC is one of the only two condados in los EU that got wealthier in the last year .... yet Barrio sanTana -13- rifa remains choro poor ..... hey, I wonder if they interviewed anyone who shops at that marketa across from Nee's Liquor on calle Main ... simon, if you ever been there, there's a trabajor ... simon, the vato looks like he just did it in a pinche battered pinata, esta muy tirado, grubby, pantelones mugrosos y sapatos lleno de tierra but he has straight bleached teeth and you can tell he gets manicures and his pelo isn't messy or greasy ... chale .... it's Jonathan Antin's "sleep" stylo and I'm sure the viejo wears Jonathan's "dirt" hair products .... simon, he's a trip ... while all the mama's steer their ninos away from him, I always greet this vato ... "... Q-vo GQ" ... if you listen closely, he stutters "bbbien ddddias Don"... and the joven Selena cashiers hit him up for change cada 15 minutos ... simon, the place is another sanTana hot spot and blind one for Census gente ... and this vato just flips up his apron and boom .... hey, talk about firme accounting methods ...

Simon, there's poverty en the golden city of Barrio sanTana x13 y-que .... just look out at the Minnie apartments on Stanard Ave/McFadden ... or the Halladay Apts on Halladay Street (hey, why is pinche Halladay Street hecho de cemento?) ... or even cruise down Lyon Street between Prenctice Park and pinche Home Depot (Don Drysdale had a restaurant there, across from Burger King, years ago) ... simon ... on trash day, another communidad comes to life aqui and knocks on everyone's trash cans .... they're always welcome .... there's poverty to the max so no need for me to go on ... y tu sabes ... to make ends meet in this high priced Barrio Grande OC -13- you need more than 4.33 ... simon and at raza wages ... ummm pues, you really do need 33.4 ... que no? .....

But it doesn't stop homies, chale ... OC's response to sanTana's poverty is to get SM kinky ... simon ... Barrio OC put on its Freudian lentes and is playing psychotic SM doc ... simon, more affordable housing and more accessible public transit won't help our raza live like normal gente, dice el kinky Barrio Freud .. chale ... instead, kinky Barrio Freud is prescribing edipus y bigger colas por nosotros ... simon, their building 32 pinche towers with 15 floors o mas for us to lick then sit on ..... chale, not here eses, not here ....

Pues ... ya esta tu Mojito ... y como dice mi tio, don't believe anything you read and only 1/2 of what you see ....

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