Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Super Limpia (listening to Andrea Echeverri)

(Originally appeard in OC Craigslist, 7/27/05).

Q-vo homies, sabes que, pues yesterday I recieved spanish real estate material from pinche REMAX Realty. Simon, but I can't figure the pinche title out, but I think it's "REMAX Above the Crowd, Conques Team Magazine, Guia practica para: Comprar, Vender o Refinanciar su casa o negocia - gratis." Chingow eses, if the gringos think our chorizos and nombres are long, pues this title will make them chorro in their pinche calzones.

Simon, ese, its a 16 page color glossy cosa de casas but I bet this pinche cochinada cost a few thousands para mandar. A few things stand out homes. The first one is this house description, it's a damn trip ..."Wow, Wow, Wow! 3 recamaras y "Den" que se puede usar como cuarto familiar o cuarto recamara." Hey pinche realtor, your giving away our recamara secretos, besides we've already decided, tambien vamos usar the garage, 1/2 the cocina, patio and the large closets as possible recamaras. Tambien, we have to built the shack atras, hey, the casa is not raza sin shack! And storage for the juegetes and llantas .... ummmm pues, that's what the roof is for - wacha!

On another pagina hay ocho casitas firme, 2 shoe box casas built in the 50's with two brand new ventanas the length of the entire pinche casa; 4 new casas de 3 recamaras, 2 banos y aire acondicionado; un casa de dos pisos; and 1 chante tipo bungalow. What's a trip is that they all have the same brand new, bright white pinche colonial garage door con ventanas and are tricked out with palm trees. Pinche raza ... addicted to Home Depot y palmas - orale.

Then there's the pinche killer. Simon, some things never change homies. On this page, there's a picture of an older "preciosa casa en Old Tustin." The house, probably built in late 40's early 50's in nicely manicured con palmas and all eses. In the photo, you see the house ... then the neighbors drive way on the right side then ... there it is .... right in between the two pinche casas ... pinche Tustin gringos .... a pinche red curb zone! Pinche gringos, with their lipstick, they painted the curb between both houses whore rojo and about 3-4 feet long, just long enough not to smell their pinche chee but close enough to check out our beautiful mujeres and ask "is that real home made salsssa." Hey REMAX, do you mean "Old Tustin" "Same Pinche Tustin" or pinche "Barrio Redneck?"

What relieved me was the realtor J. Luis Heredia has testimonio from clientes and is even photoed hugging his chapparo clientes, simon, 10 photos, 10 hugs, .... chingow Luis .... now that's rapido y susio - orale!

Pues homes, its caliente afuera and my Absolute has done two weeks in the freezer!

Ondale and remember, the (Recycled) Cholo Knows.


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