Thursday, July 14, 2005

sanTana's Chick with a Dick (listening to Shotgun)

(Originally appeared in OC Craigslist, 7/14/05.)

Hey vato, pues it's already jueves and reaching the 90's by 9 aqui en the golden city - sanTana. Simon, too calient to run cirles in my Stacey Adams and for my botela de starch ... hey, last week I watched santana's city council meeting on tv and found out .... pues ... santana's council women claudia alvarez ... pues ... is a chick with a dick ... speaking en lenguas of course! Simon hard to say porques she's attractive but she put up a cock fight with Townsend Public Affairs.

Simon, I guess Townsend, a small public affairs barrio, was given a $25,000 contract to represent the golden city in fuck for a buck Sacramento and lobby for recreation funds. But Alavarez apparently had a hard on and wanted these vatos to basically say "soy Townsend de sanTana y-que, fullerton mela-pela." That's right, she wanted them to make the golden city their priority, but she was the only one.

It got ugly and pues juevos were in the air. Anyways, Alvarez let everyone know that Townsend was not given trabajo for a couple years because they screwed the golden city, etc, etc, etc. I mean, pues the vata just hates Townsend y porque, no se. Seems its' tied to Dunn y otros plus her run for the assembly. Simon, she's pissed off toda via and she should, she was screwed. Through all this Alvarez accused Townsed of bad practices including extortion, simon, she used "Townsend" and "extortion" in the same pinche sentence and on the air. Even the Townsend vato said something like "did you say extortion, claudia that's a heavy accusation" and Alvarez shot back with something lik "that's Councilwoman Alvarez and I'll use extortion in any way, shape and form I shoes." Tu sabes she has a cute accent. It was fea but both kept cool. Aver que pasa, porque Alvarez was truly a cockfighter that night and had her juevos all over the screen and she's still coming!

Ondale Alvarez! Hey homies, sabes que, tengo que ir porque me llamen Later and remember, the (Recycled) Cholo Knows!

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